kenapa saya suka menulis (or menaip)

Salam...

Actually, planning to write this on the 1st December which is about in 2 hours. But then, terfikir, kang tertido, x tulis plak. So, just pretend that i wrote this on the 1/12/2010...haha.
Okay, merujuk kepada perkara di atas (cewah~ dh mcm surat rasmi plak).. knape sy suka menulis (dalam terma zaman sekarang, menulis = menaip = blogging..kot?) . Hmm, tidak diketahui semenjak bila saya menjadi seorang penulis tegar (aka blogger) yang suka meluahkan perasaan melalui lewat kalam-kalam tulisannya...(yeah, i know...cheesy~) . Tapi, sejak zaman orang ada Diari lagi, saya dah mula menulis (betol2 punye tulis).. tapi, selalunya diari akan kantoi dengan family, pastu abis la dijaja satu kampung kandungan dalam diari tu...(malu la babe~!) so, saya pon berdiam diri dan tidak menulis lagi selepas itu. Kemudian, datanglah zaman orang duk sibuk nak berblog. Masa tu x teruja lagi. i just blogged using friendster blog. and when people are moving on to facebook, i started blogspot-ing. so, here i am today. blog lebih kurang sama je ngan physical diary, cuma kewujudan blog boleh dirahsiakan terutamanya dari kaum keluarga..(haha). dan walaupon ade yang membaca, tapi kandungannya tidaklah tersebar mana. jadi, selamat la sket..hahaha~ (ade eh reason cmtu?)
Selalu bercita-cita nak tulis novel, tapi sampai perenggan kedua je dah give-up. So, tulis luahan hati lebih senang kot...dari nak mereka cerita yang tak pernah alami.
Dan, saya juga suka tulis sajak. Walaupon tidaklah sehebat A.Samad Said, tapi bolehla setakat diri sndiri nak bace tu.. Poems are easier to write because tak payah pikir ayat panjang berjela just nak convey a message. a simple word such as "Darkness" can be interpreted into many different meanings....(sorry for the bahasa rojak). malas nak pikir kesesuaian tatabahasa dan lenggok bahasa. (hey, i am the secretary of Persatuan Bahasa Melayu during high school tau!) and oh! patutla saya suka menulis. Mmg minat bahasa rupanya. Tapi, macam mane la bleh tercampak jadi pharmacist plak ni? Krisis identiti betol.

so, itulah sebabnya kenapa saya suka menulis. (note: i am a "why" writer). go figure that out!

pening x tgk gambar ni? hehe... pic credit to: aimi reduzan.. -eh, cam kenal je? la...aku rupanya-


Signing out

the eleventh

salam.

it's the 11th entry for this month. quite a number huh? yeah, i know. this is what happens when aimi reduzan feels sad. she wrote a lot. i mean, A LOT. (tu x campur lagi monolog dalaman diri tu..haha). But, that's just who i am. I wrote what i feel. And i say it out loud what i feel. But, this time, i found my self (purposely dijarakkan "my" dengan "self" tu). And, i can't wait to find my "cinta hati"...

well, you may say i am a dreamer, but, without something to dream on, what's left in our life? *don't you know, dream makes our brain works harder?* haha...seriously.

and by the way, why the heck is grey's anatomy latest episode still not air yet?????

on serious note, i wish that my "cinta hati" will be a hot-sempoi-tapi-boleh-bimbing-aku Ashraff Omar and a blend of romantic-dan-sayang-aku-sorang-je Benz Alif. Ciri-ciri lain akan di up kemudian lepas dah bace semua novel Hlovate...hahahah. (mode: tahpape tahap langit petala ke-8)

XOXO~Sayurie

only if

" i wish i could say it all over again
goodnight dear...
morning!!
hiii~ "

saya ingin menjadi baik

salam.

just now, finished reading "versus" by hlovate. sejujurnya, sangat terkesan novel tersebut di hati saya. tak pernah novel yang membuatkan saya ingin berubah menjadi lebih baik, walau bukan yang terbaik. Baik dalam erti kata menjadi hamba Allah yang lebih taat. Sesungguhnya untuk berubah itu bukan senang. Perlu ada kekuatan dalaman yang sangat teguh. Tetap dan takkan berpaling walau apa godaan datang mengganggu. Saya sedar, saya bukanlah perempuan yang baik secara keseluruhannya. Sekadar menutup aurat dan menunaikan 5 rukun islam belum menjadikan saya manusia yang baik. Baik adalah apabila kita "beriman" kepada Allah Taala. dan adakah menunaikan rukun islam dan beriman dengan rukun iman menjadikan kita beriman dalam erti kata sebenar? TIDAK. Segalanya berbalik kepada HATI (niat). Sekolah Agama selama 5 tahun belum cukup menjadikan saya manusia dan hamba Allah yang baik. Dan sedih rasanya kerana saya mengambil masa yang sangat lama untuk sedar hakikat ini. Semoga Allah berikan saya kekuatan untuk berubah manjadi lebih baik. Saat menulis entry ini ada suatu rasa yang sukar saya ungkapkan..Sebak, gembira, tenang, bercampur baur.
Tenang dan damai kerana saya tahu, Allah ada bersama saya. Dia masih sayangkan saya, kerana itu Dia berikan saya kesedaran ini. Perlahan-lahan, semoga saya mampu berubah. Kerana saya ingin berubah. Masih tidak terlambat rasanya.

Terima kasih, Allah. Alhamdulillah. i could not ask for more. this is more than enough.

to do something good.

hye there!

im actually thinking of being a organ donor, but my mum won't let me. u know how mothers are...but, can i? and i am damn serious about this. been thinking for quite a while actually. want to do something good for other people who deserves it. (after i died) . what say you?

Dengan nama Allah....

Allah menghapuskan apa jua yang dikehendakiNya dan Ia juga menetapkan apa jua yang dikehendakiNya. Dan (ingatlah) pada sisiNya ada "Ibu segala suratan".

from the bottom of my heart (read: broken)

Salam.

i hope you are reading this. IF you are reading this, means that you are still checking me out.. right? sigh. but, keep reading. this entry won't cost you a thing, but it cost me everything.
Remember when we were classmates? you are one of my bestest guy-friend. the other one is your bestfriend (used to be). i bet you didn't know that right? honestly, mase kat sekolah dulu, saya x ramai kawan lelaki. you are one of the most rapat dgn saya. Remember when me & my friend sent u a "love" letter that says ; "walaupon rupamu tidak kukenal, tetapi, lobang hidungmu tetap menjadi pojaan hatiku" .. kitorg bg ayat tu kat awak hari2... mesti awak menyampah kan? and mase hari valentine, kitorg bg awak ayat tu yang kitorg tulis atas daun (pengaruh cite Mohabbatein mase ni).. ingat x? Dulu, awak suka AM. sampai dah abis skolah pon awak still suke die. kitorg slalu jd tempat awak luah perasaan. tapi tu semua cite dulu.
Now, you are not the same person that i knew few years back. where did he go? sometimes, it's true when people say that environment can change someone. i think you have changed. changed to the bad side. berubah jadi orang lain yang saya x kenal. orang yang suka main-mainkan perasaan perempuan. awak penah ckp, "jgn risau, saya xkan mainkan awak" xpcaya ? sy ada bukti. SMS yang awak hantar. All of them. And from a non-smoker, you became one. sungguh saya x paham.
Tapi, saya dah give up. give up dgn awak. saya penat. sebab awak x jujur dgn saya. and i think this is the best for both of us. and you can meet all kind of women that you like. you can date them all.
And as for me, what's left with me is just the memory of you from our school days... sebab saya rase mase tu, sy lebih kenal awak. berbanding sekarang. i will go far from your life (that's what you want, kan?) sebab jauh di sudut hati awak, awk sebenarnya x pernah sayangkan saya (eventho you said you did). the longer this "relationship" goes on, it will only hurt us (or is it just me?).
Saya xkan doakan awak bahagia. kalau boleh, saya nak awak rase apa yang sy rase sekarang. Sebagai peringatan untuk awk. Sebab, awak xkan tau menghargai orang yang sayangkan awk, selagi awk x dikecewakan oleh orang yang awak sayang. it may sounds cruel, but that was reality.
Now, after finished reading this, you can go and get who-ever girl that you like. We are done.

guys are jerks

yup..guys are jerks. don't agree? GET OUT OF HERE !! now. well, not all, but most of them are.
guys thinks that they can have any girls that they want, because there's plenty of us out there kan? huh. lame!
to you, that breaks my precious heart, saye sumpah awak jadi KATAK ! yup, katak. mr.froggy. why katak? sebab katak binatang paling saya x suka. geli. well, have fun playing with girls' heart.... you'll get "rewarded" by Allah someday. you won't have an easy life. you'll not get married until .. let say..40? and i am damn serious.



just like that flowers.....that will be your life in the future. ( believe me, my words are 99 % accurate)

bila hati dan akal tidak seiring

salam !

Dah agak lame tidak berbelog secara serius. asyik keluh kesah je kan? nevermind...haha. But, to come up to this stage, where anything you did doesn't matter anymore, maksudnye, apabila, hati lebih laju bertindak daripada akal. Maka, terjadilah perkara yang dipanggil "kerja Gila".. :-P
Anyone who knew me, akan tau, tak ade org yang lebih gila dari saya. Buat ape2 selalu x pikir dulu. main redah je. lepas tu baru mnyesal (kdg2 je la). Tapi, prinsip yang selalu saye pegang, it's now or never. no in between. macam saye, saya selalu jatuh cinta (ye ke? ) dengan orang yang salah. Mana saya tau dia org yg salah? I knw. U knw. we all knw. Right? eheh. Lambatnye saya nak jumpe dengan "cinta hati" saya... awak, kalau awak jumpa saya, jangan buat2 sombong ,k? nanti makin lambat la kite jumpe...hehe. Tapi, tak tau la kalau sebenarnye kita dah jumpa, kan? hmm, awak yang mana satu eh? nanti saya nak buat satu entry blog khas untuk awak je...tunggu ek. And bila kita dah jumpe, awak kena baca, tau ! :)

(gamba credit to : Saya la....=)))

macam sepasang kasut kat atas ni, saya harap kita pon akan mcm tu jugak nanti... unseparable. sebab, kalo kasut tinggal sebelah, mcm mane nak jalan kan? hehe....

Her

Who is her?
:(

Rest

Selalu saya je yang start dulu, kan?
Nak ilangkan diri kejap,bleh?
Awak akn rindu sy x?

[idle]

salam...

hai~ ! (to whoever is reading my blog...haha)
lame tak mengupdate belog ini... malas pon satu hal... :)

i usually writes when there's something bothering me.
so, yes. u got that right..something IS bothering me.. most probably my paranoid brain..haha

there are a lot of things in my mind right now,
mostly due to work.

due to some circumtances, work is NEVER happy for me. orang kata, tak kenal maka tak cinta.
tapi kalo dah setahun kenal keje tu, tapi tak cinta2 jugak, camno tu?

and that's why if there is any seminar yang berkaitan ngan clinical, i WILL go.
at least during that time, i will enjoying myself.
miss doing ward rounds...
miss doing intervention...
miss googling for journals...
miss everything that is clinical ~~

*will endure my time here*
i only believe in 1 thing : Those who persevere, Allah will reward them later..if not now.
inshaAllah....