It's coming to an end..2009

December is here..and it means something..2009 hampir berakhir..

i hope, 2010 will..

- bring me more luckss..i desperately need it
- be a better year for me..
- turn me into a better person,
- maybe, lead me to my 'jodoh'..=)

2009 banyak mendewasakan aku.. mengajar aku bagaimana menangani krisis dalaman diri aku.. mengajar aku mendepani masalah aku.. tapi banyak jugak perkara yang mematahkan semangat aku.. i think i became a pesimist, instead of optimistic person that i used to be..

well, there's not a year that is enough for us.. so, lets hope for a better future..

Lelaki oh lelaki...

Salam.

That title, it's weird, is it? Haha...lately, me having difficulty understanding man.. or men.. Orang kate perempuan ni kompleks pemikirannye, tapi yang sebetulnye, lelaki lagi kompleks. perempuan kita boleh teka their next step, but, man... selalu tekaan kita (perempuan) salah..

How to know if a guy is really interested in a girl? Ataupun just suka.. suka as a fren, maybe a little bit more than a fren, but, how to determine if a guy really likes a girl that he is willing to throw everything just to be with her? Susah nak tau kan?

Once, i asked a guy how much he liked me, but, he cannot answer me... is that mean he just 'like' me, but he doesn't love me? complicated isnt it? atau lelaki mmg jenis yg tak tau perasaan sndiri? how u want to make a girl to like you, if you (lelaki itu) yourself, doesn't even know how much u like her? be a man...if not a gentleman..

Maybe it is true that men are from mars...(=alien?) haha...they speak a language that us girls don't understand..mulut lelaki letaknye di hati...so, nak tunggu mulut dorang cakap ape yg terbuku di hati, mmg payah ah.. agaknye bile hati tu dah bernanah baru la keluar semua...parah2..

Mode: Poetic

Kau yang ku panggil teman..

Suatu masa dulu,
Kita adalah kawan,teman dan sahabat,
Kau Kawan dalam pelajaran,
Kau teman meluahkan perasaan,
Kau sahabat yang sentiasa di sisi,
Kaulah yang ku panggil teman.

Tapi sahabatku,
Benarkah apa yang kau kata?
Bahawa aku bukan sekadar teman bagimu,
Bahawa perasaanmu bukan setakat kawan,
Keliru aku.

Teman,
Berikan aku ruang dan masa,
Menilai erti perasaan ini,
Aku takut dirimu jua,
tersilap menafsir hatimu,
biarkan masa menentukan segalanya...
Ku yakin pada mu, teman.

Andai,
Tersurat di azali,
Kita bukan sekadar teman,
Terimalah aku seadanya,
sepertimana kau menerimaku,
sebagai sahabatmu...


13/11/2009 - Aku yang kau panggil teman.

the jOurNey continues...

Salam.

"macam mane tempat baru? ok ke?" . today, almost all ppl that i know ask me that question.~kebetulan hari ni ada cme kat Hosp~.. duh!? bila dorang tanye soalan tu, my expression kinda distorted.. and i give that boring-kinda-annoying look... please la.. ask other question bleh x? im tired of giving ppl the excuse of not being happy working at my new place. if i said ,"x best la.. nak balik hosp", they will definitely say, "ala..biasela tu..tpt baru. lama2 best la tu". seriously ppl, what do u know? only me and myself yg tau mcm mane rase keje kat tpt yg u don't even feel that u fit in there. like wearing other ppl's clothes. thats how i felt for the past 2 month. those who get their place of choice, they don't have the courtesy to comfort or konon-konon-empati ngan aku. and to make it worse, those who called themself myfren doesn't even bother to ask how im doing... not to be a snobby princess, but just calling and asking, "cmne keje skang? jom kita kuar..mkn2 ke..",that wud be enuf. just need a fren to let out my ketidakpuasan-perasaan ni. how wud u feel living (~yeah, working is like living, u spent 8 hours @work~) in a place without a fren around, ppl just barging into ur room asking for everything, works that seems to have no end to it, skipping lunch almost everyday bcoz u dont have anyone to lunched with, and etc... just imagine... this situation is stressing me out... afraid that i may develop some kind of depressive disorder... nauzubillah.. amin.

p/s: to that person that sent me out 'there', i thank you... thank you for making my life a living h**l...

The Confusion...

Hye there!!

Dah lame x meng'update' blog ni.. bukan ape.. xde ape2 yg memerlukan luahan perasaan kat sini.. haha..
Ape yg aku rase skarang ni adalah keliru yg teramat sgt..
keliru ngan perasaan sendiri..
i've been there a few years back.. and i hate that confusing feeling so much..
im afraid that i might take the same decision i took at that time and i hurt that person's feeling..deeply.
so, sorry if i were to hurt your feeling...in the future..
all because im confused with my own feeling..
be brave,aimi..
sorry..cause i had so many other things to think of, besides this feeling thing..
after all,
may the best man win!!

if you are the best man, for me, then u'll definitely win..

Post k-drama effect...

Hye..!
Just finished watching korean drama ~cinderella man~... quite nice story (plus tersangatlah hensem hero..hehe)..
But, i must admit that it get to me every time i watch korean drama..that feeling, the undescribable(is there such word? bantai je la..=)) feeling... suddenly i feel the need to have a boyfren... to be in love.. and mcm2 lg.. means that that drama berjaya membuai perasaan yg menontonnya...huh! terer betol org korea ni wat cite.. dah la hero comel + hensem, cite best, ost best, ending best... tapi satu yg aku kagum org korea ni, dorg tersangatlah bangga ngan negara dorg.. dlm every drama, dorg akan masukkan sekali tempat2 menarik kat negara dorg, and culture dorg.. for example, dlm cite yg aku baru tgk ni, fokus dlm cite ni adalah 'dongdaemun market'. kat korea, market ni boleh la kira mcm pusat fesyen yg sgt besar, yg mana semua process yg terlibat dlm pembuatan sehelai baju berlaku kat sini.. dari designing, pemilihan fabrik, jahitan, aksesori --> and menariknya, sehelai baju tu boleh dihasilkan dlm masa 1 hari je.. really wish that someday aku boleh pg sana n pg tpt2 yg slalu tgk dlm cite korea... mcm jeju island, dongdaemun market (aka great east gate), muzium bear etc... (kot2 la ada org nk sponsor aku..haha!)and yg penting, nk cuci mata ngan kot-mi-nam kat sana...

~a man with a suit is the handsomest of all~



...boleh x tlg cari sorg yg mcm ni (kalo ada la kat msia ni...)

Stress Level Rising...ALERT!!!

as the title implies, im in a very very stress mood rite now..why? semestinya disebabkan penempatan baru di Hulu trg.. hmm
byk sebab aku stress ngan tpt baru ni..
1. it is HULU trg..what do u expect??
2. byk keje management..no more ward rounds, counseling, dispensing, screening...huargh!!!
3. aku sorg2 terkontang kanting, xde kwn sorg pon..
4. xreti...mcm kena blaja dari awal balik..
5. not my type.. seme ilmu yg blaja 4 5 tahun, xberguna..

i think i might be getting a severe depressive disorder if perasaan ni berlarutan lama... giler aku..
mcm mane nk paksa diri supaya suka ek?
dah la xsuka sgt farmasi ni, and bile at last, i like something in pharmacy (it's clinical pmacy and not some PKD-pmacy..huh!)...it was taken away from me..so unfair!!
kdg2 rasa jeles ngan faez.. she got what she wants..lucky her..
ada sape2 x nk shift tpt ngan aku?